( Click for excitement. )

I'm pretty sure that's it for now. I'm thinking about going up to Omaha to see Jack's Mannequin, but that kind of stuff is harder during the school year. We'll see.

Hey guys, I know I haven't been on in foreverrrrr. LJ feels so weird to me right now. I made a new journal, just as a fresh start. I'll probably keep checking in on here, but if you guys are interested: lolasayswhat


And I don't know if there are any The Academy Is or We The Kings fans on my flist, but I'm on the FBR street team promoting the tour. Just click the banner to check out dates and tickets!

I am alive and functioning. I know you were so worried. Psh. Thinking of making a new LJ. Fresh starts sound so good right now.

I'm in a really good mood right now but who knows how long it'll last, right? I really want to go out and about but I'm sick and I have tons to do.

The fire alarm in my room keeps beeping. I'm super paranoid it'll start going off and I won't be able to fix it...I'm home alone and totally clueless about that stuff. eek.

I feel good and hyper and tired and all over the place.

PS-new layout. Yes/No?
PPS- "fuckery reigns" is my new favorite saying. ha.

Why do people think it's ok to only talk about important things over Facebook? Ugh.

I need a good blog name. I'd like something with my name in it, but funny and catchy...I don't know. I'm bad at this stuff. Help?

I hope everyone's well...taking some time off to sort things out in real life.

I survived the first week of school. Thursday brought tears late at night, but everything turned out ok by the end of friday. The first mixer was last night and things got insane. I thought if one more boy tried to grab my ass I'd freak. But it was so much fun.

I'm tired but happy.

Orientation tomorrow. Full days start the day after. Stoked and terrified.

Some things I just really wish I didn't know. But I'm so hopelessly curious, it kills me. It's all so tragically Alice in Wonderland.

LJ has been doing weird stuff lately. I haven't been getting email reminders of comments, so if it takes me a while to respond, that's why.

My room is finally completely painted! Hannah came over yesterday and was amaaaazing enough to help. It took about four hours, but it's done and it looks fabulous. Now I just have to arrange the furniture and clean up and all will be well. Hannah and Maddy are coming over tonight. It shall be epic.
The dust in my room and the paint fumes have been messing with my allergies. I'm a snotty, dripping mess right now. TMI, I know, but this sucks.

School Monday. Holy fuck.

 I do believe commenting is now possible at http://omnomnom.tumblr.com/ if you're curious. I hate that this comes off as dogging for comments, so know that I'm not trying to. Just putting it out there. I also change the URL/name of it about 4 times a day, so don't think I switched anything on you. Haha. 

Some of my best friends started school today. Ugh. I feel for them, I really do. They must be terrified. 

I need to get the rest of my room cleaned, painted, and cleaned again before Saturday night. Eeep.

Today is just not a very good day. Everyone has these days. I just need to complain for a bit. I have $0 in my iTunes account, and any other way of getting music is not being helpful. I walked to Walgreens to get a card thingy(since my account doesn't just filter money through a credit card), and alas, I only have $13, and the store only has $15 cards. So I bought magazines instead.
THEN. The Jack's Mannequin website thing freezes my computer every time I figure out multiple clues and it's just osuifousounbjn and frustrating. I'm trying to get some friends together for this weekend, but talking to all of them makes me want to hurt myself, tbh. And I'd have to have my room clean, which isn't even fully painted, and it's a disaster area.
This whole time it's been ridiculously hot and I'm just so uncomfortable.

Damn I just want to sleep.

I dyed my hair today. I'm such a hair junkie, it's probably not healthy. But I love it! It's RED! I'll post pictures when I can.

I saw the new Mummy movie today...it's not as good as the first two. I basically grew up watching those movies, so I was pretty disappointed in the new one. But it's a whatever. It is what it is, a dumb action movie. Cheesy fer sure.

Tonight, I'm going to a party for my advisory at school. Advisories are beasically like your homeroom, the seniors are your "big sisters," since it's an all girls gig. I'm excited but nervous. I'vr already met the girls in my advisory, and the party is at a friend's house. I'm pretty stoked on the fact that I have a friend that'll be a sophomore. It makes me feel safer, ha. It should be fun times. Basically I'm up for new friends. Old ones just aren't doing it for me...people change and all that.

Today I realized that my hair looks like Ariel's...you know, the mermaid. There's a visual for you. ;D
Later.

Nothing too grand has happened lately...painting the rest of my room has been stalled. Either out of laziness of something else. I only havr a week of summer vacation left. Which I don't really mind, but the idea of school itself freaks me out. Personally, there's just a lot to prove to a lot of people. Wee bit of pressure.

Sometimes I just wish my friends could display even half the amount of loyalty I give to them. Is it really that hard?

We The Kings is a band you should listen to. I should, but this isn't a band I can let go of. And the new Jack's Mannequin EP isn't something you should sleep on, either.

Ok, it's not really bitching. But I was looking at my user info, laughing at its lame-ness, when I realized like, quite a few people I've never known/talked to have added me. Which is fine by me, I'm not a very "LJ IS SRS BSNS" person. I keep my entries public so people know what they're getting into by adding me. It's cool people gave a damn enough to add. Maybe they didn't really care and just wanted a bigger number of friends, I don't know.

But my point is, I'd love if you guys could drop a comment or something, I feel like a shitty "friend" when people are reading my stuff, and I can't even comment/read in return. I have a feeling the majority of you guys are FOBR boardies-also cool. Maybe a comment with your bn? I don't know, I'm just trying to regulate stuff in a non-bitchy way. And anyone else who's added me, let's chat! I don't really like adding people I've NEVER talked to, it's kind of silly of me, but yeah. One convo or whatever and I'll add back for sure.

My AIM sn is lauren moshes, and I check LJ enough to get any comments fast, so don't be afraid to chat me up. Thanks so much everyone.♥

I don't even know if anyone's noticed that I've been basicallly dead for the past few days. I've been feeling invisible in the best possible way. "Real" life has been so busy and tralalala that I just don't really care anymore. And you know, things aren't even particularly good in my life right now, but I feel calmer and more sane than I probably have in months.
I sometimes use the internet to get away from real life. But now I'm using real life to get away from the internet. It's kind of fucked up, but in a good way I guess. I think I broke my finger. Or did something else to seriously mess it up. It's my right index, so it's even more bad. This point in the post is where it starts throbbing red hot and screaming at me to stop typing. Noooo.

We've been painting my room and generally running around to distract me from presale business, but that's the more personal bit of it for me. It makes me sad, but ultimately I don't regret not going. It's all going downhill anyway. I knew that on March 25th. But enough of that.

It's good. I just finished Breaking Dawn, I'm running on no sleep, sometimes things come up that make me see flames I get so upset, but I'm mellow and calm.
But really, what's worse--being invisible or not being real at all? I can't decide.

It's been a while, I kind of feel like I died off the internet. It's ok though. I've been reading Breaking Dawn and trying to avoid spoilers. You're probably going to get a review when I'm done, so brace yourselves, ha. I've also been avoiding all the PATD presale business like the plague. I just don't want to deal with it. It's going to seriously fuck with my decision to not go. I'm just kind of done with all of it. Fandom blows really bad sometimes.
I don't know if any of you have looked at my Tumblr (http://thatssofoxy.tumblr.com/), but I'm trying to get commenting to work because Tumblr doesn't host it. But there's the link if you're curious. 
It's unbearably hot here right now. It reached 100 degrees today. It's brutal being in the attic. While I love my attic turned bedroom, it sucks on days like these. Humph.

I've kind of been avoiding everything I used to be so into. They just either make me mad or leave me totally indifferent. I realized it's just growing up. Sometimes I don't want to, but I feel like I'm falling right into it. Everything is changing and I'm just ready for it. New phases. It's like all my growing up/moving on issues showcase themselves in one little band. It's ridiculous unless you're a part of it. 
I need new music badly. Anyone wanna recommend me some? Everything on my iPod is so blah right now. I also need a new layout, an outfit for orientation, more LJ friends, and a super model's body. Anyone wanna help me out here? Haha. I'm thinking about disappearing from the internet a bit more and lying low for a bit. It's fun for me. There's so many more things I want to do before summer's over. I've been feeling generally calm. There's frustrating downs in there, but lately I've been ok.

While I'm on here, anyone want to chat? I'm terribly bored. IM me at lauren moshes if you like. : )

1. One secret

2. One compliment

3. One non-compliment

4. One love note, but it doesn't have to be for me

5. Lyrics to a song

6. How old you are

7. How long we've been friends

8. And a hint to who you are

PS-it's anonymous~

I feel so creatively stuck I want to cry. I can't do anything anymore.

I can ~officially ride a bike now. Mhmm, that's right. It took me a good hour, but I got it! My thighs hurt and my legs are pretty filthy from getting caught on the bike, but it's good fun.

A lot of crazy fmaily drama has gone down in the last two days and I honestly don't want to talk about it. Just saying, if I start talking about how shitty I think people are, it's because of that. Haha.

It scares me that I'm so apathetic about something I once loved so much.

Today did not go as planned at all, but it was still fun. Lucy, Angela, Maddy, and I went to see The Dark Knight just like the rest of the world. I'm not a big action movie person, but it was sooo good. We sat pretty close to the front and a few times I thought my ears were going to blow off =| But it was pretty fantastic. Tonight I put on my best Joker makeup and messed around a bit. It was quite a sight.

The rest of the day my mom and I hung out at our neighbor's house, which sucks because her house is kind of filthy. I guess she's just one of those people that doesn't really care about the appearance of her home. But it gets on my nerves because it seems like she doesn't give a crap about giving her two year old a good, CLEAN, environment to live in. Poor child is still too young to notice though. And I basically had to give her a bath(because she NEVER gets bathed, she is literally caked with dirt constantly.) and put her to bed all by myself. Not to mention entertain her for two and a half hours. Her opinion? "Oh, she loooves Lauren! You're like her long lost big sister!" THAT DOES NOT MEAN I AM A FREE BABYSITTER. JUST BECAUSE I GIVE HER ATTENTION, WHICH YOU DON'T BECAUSE YOU'RE DRUNK ALL THE TIME, DOES NOT MEAN I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HER. I do this pretty much all the time and do I get paid? No. Thanked? No. I don't really mind, but I could be doing things with that time, you know? Ok I'm ranting. Sorry.
It was an ok day. Hannah's leaving for Florida tomorrow and we kind of got into a fight last night D: Ughhhh things have never been more complicated. For once things are fucked outside of my mind, not in it.

I think for a long time I was angry, but had nothing to be angry at.

I love:
-my best friends
-going to parks at 3AM and being as loud as possible
-running from cops but peeing ourselves laughing about it two seconds later
-talking to random drunk dudes
-making/remembering inside jokes
-making plans
-being perverted with my biffles
-swinging under a full moon
-having hour and a half long conversations about sex/relationships/life with particular boys
-having your best friends with you and always knowing they'll: back you up always, turn things in your favor, make you look fantastic, put their asses on the line, never be afraid to ask boys silly questions for you, make very important calls for you
-making possible-maybe-not-really dates
-the nervous/excited omgi'mgonnathrowupisthisadateomgomgomgwhatdoidodoeshelikemeomg-ness of being a teenager
-basically, my life

We're a very perverted group, I've learned. But we're damn fun.
Oh, and I'm freaking out. I feel like a loser because dating is NOT something I think I'll do well. Hahaha.

I woke up a few hours ago from sleeping for 16 hours straight. I guess I was tired. But I feel really good and ready for tonight, which should be tons of fun. Having people over who you haven't seen in months is either going to be really good or really awkward.

I had the big meeting with the people at STA for next year. Basically, they're going to be watching me. If i fuck up, it's all on me. Which is something I knew all along, but really hearing it is freaking me out a little bit.
And the plan for Accutane is underway. But I won't be able to start it until September. It's a lot of period TMI business you don't want to know. But I felt fantastically silly taking a pregnancy test when I'm not even sexually active. This whole birth defect stuff is really serious, but god.

But I'm bored and not feeling very stimulated at the moment. So...I had an idea. I'm having a Questions Post.

So ask me anything you want/wanted to know about me(besides creepy things), and I'll answer, no matter what the question. I'm feeling up to a challenge right about now.
So either this will be super lame or it'll go well. : |

PS-sorry I've posted so much today D:

I made a Tumblr...but I don't know what my ~very first post~ should be about.
I want it to be kind of cool and not lame.

Ideas?

New layout-y/n? I like it I think. But I'm so fickle about that kind of stuff. : | 


Haha that was long and kind of boring. AIM won't let me sign on and no one goes on Myspace anymore and LJ is generally slow and no one is on Facebook because all my irl friends are asleep. I guess I'll just upload videos to Youtube. 

Here's my URL if any of you want to see me in action: http://www.youtube.com/user/ohaylola
 

I'm back, as some of you already know. The first night at the lake was kind of torture, but it got better. Overall it was nice and I had some fun. I came back with a lovely sunburn to show for my trip. I'm trying not to complain so much. It's been a few days of criticism.

I think people on here have a totally different image of me than who I really am. Just a hunch.

I'm packing for our lake trip this weekend. Let me tell you something: no matter where I go or what I'm doing, I pack to last me a year. I swear, I have this strange need to bring my entire life with me wherever I go. It drives my family nuts, and I'll probably get into an argument or two tonight. But I've been good this time! I only have one small mini duffle thingy and a purse. But still, all that for like, two days.
And I don't have a swim suit, either. I haven't really gone swimming in three years, just because I kind of hate my body and feel awkward. But I'll see if I can dig up an old one. It's so hot in my room right now, ugh. Fuck being in the attic, this sucks.

So we'll see how this little adventure goes with possibly no cell phone service, no internet, slim to none friend interaction, and a rotting fight between me and Hannah that has yet to be resolved. I don't feel very vacation-y.
So basically I want to say I'm disappearing for a few days, and if I don't come back I drowned, ha. Bye lovelies.♥

but some people are so shitty sometimes.

I feel like in friendships, I give and give and give but get nothing in return. I feel like everyone I know only spends time with me until someone better comes along. It sucks. I'm so loyal and giving but I get fuck all for it. I guess I just needed to vent a little, I'm sorry.

/whiny

Last night we set Piglet out in our backyard, just to see what he'd do/if his mom would come back. About an hour later, we came back from dinner, and there were about three other baby bunnies with him. And today they were gone, so that's a good sign. Piglet found his family.♥

My sleep cycle is all funky again...which sucks. Being tired all the time sucks. But I actually have somewhere to be tomorrow, so maybe that'll reverse me a bit. I have a dentist appointment at 1, and a dermatologist(no I'm not ashamed of that) app at 2. I hate the dentist. HATE it. But I reeally like my derm. She's so nice and unbelievably pretty. Anyway, that's where I'll be tomorrow-various beige colored offices.

I'm dropping out of summerwrite. I just can't do it. I haven't written anything of worth since the beginning of May, I feel like a fraud next to all of you. You guys work so hard every day and here I am, not able to even get 100 words down a day. I don't know what it is, but I have nothing to offer creatively at the moment. And it breaks my heart, it really does. But I'm just going to bow out quietly now. I plan on coming back next summer, when I'm in a better head space and really ready to do this.

Hopefully the SW friends I've gained on here won't defriend me, I've grown to really like you all. And I wish you guys the best of luck with it, really.♥

Piglet made it ANOTHER night! I was so happy when I found out.

I just got back from Walgreens with hair dye(I'm going even lighter) and some cotton balls so Piglet is more comfortable. Thank you, anilinium! Poor guy. He's seemed to relax a bit though. Today has been uneventful, sadly. Oh, I made a youtube account last night. Just to keep track of all my ridiculous adventures, haha.

I hope everyone's doing ok♥

Bunny made it through the night.♥
I've decided to call him Piglet while he's with us. We took him to a pet store and we got "milk substitute" for him and the tiniest little bottle I've ever seen. And he's opened his eyes! He's grown so much in just 24 hours. He's so much more aware and he hops around and oh, the things he does to me. I'm in love! But we have to wait until the nature center opens on Monday so he can be in a place where he can be safe and free. And he like...screams. When he's especially scared(and I don't blame him) he does this pathetic little noise I can't even describe. We keep him outside because of our other pets, and when he did it earlier, all these rabbits came and sat in our yard. They stared at us like O_O until he stopped. I guess they ~protect their kind, huh? It's so sad because he just keeps yelling for his mommy, but she's gone. D:
I keep saying it's a he, but I don't really know, ha. But I love him/it/her.

So now that I'm somewhat back to real life after my flail-y adventures, I feel pretty good.

My mom was mowing the lawn earlier, and I guess she didn't see it, but she thought she ran over a baby bunny. It turns out she didn't(thank god), and I had to look all over the yard for it. Why? Because this thing is TINY.He is smaller than the palm of my hand, and he is so new he can't even see yet. He(I think it's a he, I don't know) is adorable. I took pictures of him which I'll upload with my Warped stuff. We called everyone we know who would know what to do, and the general opinion is that he won't make it, which breaks my heart more than you know. I want to be a vet(and a writer and musician and actress and blahh. Haha) and this little thing...just, ugh! I'm in love with him. But tomorrow morning we're calling the nature center to see what they can do, because he's wild and we can't keep him, though I'd looove to. They said because he has a human scent on him(lolol my bad! He's just so cute though! I've been showereing him with kisses all night.) she won't take him back. It's so sad but fascinating at the same time. Nature and life are taking place right in front of me and he's amazing. I feel like a new mom kind of, haha.

So for right now we're keeping him in a shoe box with a towel in it on the highest place in the house. We have a dog and two cats, I'm fucking nervous. He was terrified of the fireworks(omg this poor thing D:) so we brought him in. Holy crap I just love him to death and want him to be ok and live a happy, normal bunny life.♥

Yesterday Hannah and I went to Warped. It was amazing and epic and insane. I have pictures and videos for you, but I'll have to post them when I'm done putting them on facebook. Or I'll just link you to my fb. Who knows...

We met Andrew from Jack's Mannequin, Hayley from Paramore, I got an awful suburn, my hair is a shade lighter, I laughed pretty hard the majority of the day, we jumped from one mosh pit into another in about 5 seconds, I've never been that gone on adrenaline before, water is my best friend, merch people are rad, I love getting free shit, Paramore was fucking intense, the pit was even more brutal, we got caught in a storm while walking in the parking lot so bad you couldn't see, we almost got hit by lightening 465756 times, we hid behind a port-a-potty that was blown away, I've never seen horizontal rain like this, 70 MPH winds we were walking against, we had to hitchike, I left my Andrew autograph at a gas station, my mother was amazing enough to go back for it, we had to run across a field multiple times and almost died, the signature was still there and I almost cried from joy, the power went out and we hid behind cars, every time lightening struck somewhere we could feel it on the car and it hurt like hell, we were screaming harder than we ever have, I was more terrified than I've ever been in my life, I was crying in fear and felt like I was going to pee my pants from laughing at the same time, the people who gave us a ride were so fucking nice and funny, we were soaked through and through, we almost met Gabe from Cobra Starship, I have the coolest merch, it was one of the best days of my life. That was all one sentence because yesterday is a fucking blur. A wonderful, spinning blur.


No cut because hi, this is my ridiculous life and the things that happen in it.

I tried to fix it, but there's a huge picture under this cut, sorry. Just letting you guys know.
( idek )

I'm a bad LJ friend. I'm not exactly doing things all the time, but when I look back I go, "Whoa, busy day." The hours always add up in the end.

I've just been trying to get up at a reasonable hour, do something with my days, try to be as creative as possible, take care of my skin, read books, laugh a lot, get things ready for school, and basically erase any thought that I don't try. Because I do.

I hope everyone's doing well.

Edit: I'm thinking of pulling out of summerwrite. My head just isn't in the right place and I know I'm just hurting my team and everyone's kind of pissed. But I don't know if I can take the shame of it, ha.

I'd really like to know who left me the anonymous comment "gAqDlL dfv814t4fdfvmlfn093fvgbos" in one of my last posts. Was it just a random bot or one of you crazies? ;D

Only one week until Warped is here! So. Stoked. You have no idea, seriously. It's my first year but I've been dying to go since 2005.

I also have a small job like, the day after Warped. Which is going to be brutal, since I'm guessing my body will be fucking spent after. But it's easy-I just have to stay at my neighbor's house for a night or two and make sure their dogs can go outside. Not bad, huh? I don't feel weird about it because I live across the street, so it's all good.

( More ramblings )

I'm really sorry if it takes me forever and a day to get the other account together. I was just about to make a post but LJ did something funny and deleted everything I'd written. Very discouraging. But then I realized what I was going to post was complete shit anyway, so I'm very thankful to the computer gods.

I've been totally unmotivated today; I'm sick and I just didn't want to get out of bed. It's one of those sick days where you feel terrible about yourself, not just how your body feels. My throat hurts like a bitch and, I don't know if it's allergies or what, but my ears so so congested I'm afraid they're going to explode. Ugh. Bad day.

I started a new journal. I felt really cluttered in the writing area, so now it'll be easier to keep personal, silly stuff and my "work"(haha) separate. It's pretty lame right now, but if any of you are interested, head over to startunraveling and add me. All my writing will be there from now on, it might be good for SW members, but I don't want to mess you up with stupid stuff, sorry. For the first few posts I'll just put up things you've already read, so it'll be quite boring for a bit. It's friends only because I want to protect my babies at all costs, haha. You never know you might steal your stuff. Anyway, it'd be great if you guys could add me and tell me how to fix my crappy ramblings. :D

 I think all the people who have added me, but for some reason I haven't added back, should talk to me. Here or anywhere else. I feel bad because I don't really know where a lot of you came from ): I can be such a bad LJ friend. 

 If you guys or anyone else on my flist would like to talk, here's my sn on AIM: lauren moshes. I'd love to chat, for sure. :D 

xo